Portishead – Third

What a job to be given hey, such great responsibility and potentially repercussion bringing weight to the task. Still, stay strong Ant, keep focused… I must ignore the grapevine and any vicious rumours found therein, horrid whispers of the substandard content and quality of Portisheads fantastically titled 3rd LP ‘Third’. Screw it, I’m going in…Watch out Beth, I’m a comin’…

Silence: After a short cold war sample kicking off the proceedings, urgent, driven percussion and a reassuringly familiar, eerie melody each pleasingly unfold in good turn before Beth steals the spotlight and all thunder from the track. It intermittently regains its pace throughout its somewhat unimaginative existence and despite its lack of ambition; it’s sounding great and builds us up (for a fall?) nicely.

Hunter: Beth heart achingly coos her cool crooning from the outset of a track that jumps slackassedly from a timeless, echo drowned world and its delightful lady vocal to the interjecting instrumental sections that twinkle with the same unadventurous vitality of its predecessor. So, sounding good and going nowhere, is it enough to appease? Let’s see what else we‘ve got to come, after all folks; we’re only 2 tracks in!

Nylon Smile: Echoing a lounge based Bjork with its quirky underpinning, the track’s firmly grounded with life worn lyrics pertaining to the real here and now. Alarm bells are ringing once more as I start to sense the problem which holds back the enjoyment factor of this LP. It’s not blissed out chilled and lazy to the absolute; it’s not epic, brain shockingly brilliant or alive with bionic beats, it’s just mediocre and mid range in both its impact and delivery. It’s not big, it’s not clever and it’s got nobody to blame but its seemingly non-trying self. Almost halfway, we’ve got some ground to make up and some hearts to warm. What we need now is some sweet song-writing skills to shine down on their still intact sound.

The Rip: Softly plucking and poignantly purring we go in what could be an all too predictable Portishead process. Another non-engaging track begins to unwind but, wait what’s this? Slowly but oh so reassuringly and surely, the track escalates, adding an all too sorely missed angle to the proceedings. The energy is still repressed but there’s a sense of impending victory about the music now… At least there was before it ended all too prematurely. So close! And bloody frustrating too!

Plastic: Is the vigour and individual flair of real musicianship the missing factor here? This predominantly programmed track is tightly executed and superbly exacted, just all a little too coldly for my liking. Beth’s emotion and any minuscule impact borne of her sorrow are lost within the weary, dreariness of her vague, drawn out lyrics. I think I might start to cry now.

We Carry On: Clear vocals that distract from the pulsating power of the music each push on in parallel unison for its astonishingly unwavering entirety here. Bursts of guitar and drum rolls aren’t enough to salvage the worth from an all too monotone misadventure.

Deep Water: Echoes of ‘You belong to me’ and what could be a ukulele or banjo carry this charming track to its close. Hurray! We’re treated to some solemn backing barbershop quartet sing-along along the way throughout a track that, for the first time on this LP, lets us see the softer soul (yes, there really is one) of the band… Then, in harsh contrast…

Machine Gun: What’s surely a Trent Reznor inspired backing track of unrivalled repetition carries the most heartfelt flashback yet to our dearly beloved old school Beth. Can it justly be described as the choice for first release? Somewhat amazingly (given the competition), the answer is yes, so if you’re one of the doubters wondering just WTF Portishead are up to, maybe avoid this LP altogether. (A little dickie-bird tells me that Mazzy Star are back at it, so as your friendly neighbourhood music journalist I advise you to collect your crushed hope and pin it onto their forthcoming efforts instead). Despite having given up on this LP, onward I must go.

Small: A heightened eerie factor that coincidently echoes Mazzy Star and a lady led I Like Trains delivers a great track that perhaps folds under its own weight before falling down a dark well of despair. Bloody hell Ant, steady on, it’s not that moody or tragic, is it?

Magic Doors: A real treat for any Hurdy Gurdy fans here! Offbeat and awkward, the initial stages are alienating before it finds it’s true feet and our bewildered ears adjust to the somewhat askew opening. From there on in, this track goes on to contend for the spot of follow up single. Beth does more than to murmur, making the effort to fully inhale and exhale her vocal amidst the notably upbeat track that gives too little too late, but is certainly received gratefully as a consolation prize.

Threads: Getting as close to the Portishead of old, this track and its accessible lyric laden self ambles wonderfully, despite the high frequency of its chorus. Beth even sounds a little exasperated, sounding like she might mean it.

The album ends and I find myself befuddled and (I’m sad to report) bemused. . In all fairness, this should be played loud with wall shaking bass to be fully appreciated. The sounds are still there, it’s just the song-writing that seems all too disaffectionate and elusive. Big fat bummer!

And yes I’m prepared to take all this back after further exposure, hey, who can forget the commonplace mistake made by the multitude upon hearing Portisheads self titled LP. It wasn’t Dummy and initially it was a disappointment, but our collective heart did warm nonetheless…so here’s my loophole, deal with it!

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