Comic Book Movies 101: Whiteout

• 19th Apr 2011

Dominic (Gone in 60 Seconds/Swordfish) Sena sends Kate Beckinsale to Antarctica as a cop with (don’t all cry at once) a dark past, living an isolated existence at a station full of scientist types. A murder is committed and those on site make for the last flight out leaving a select few behind to figure out what’s going on – and to be honest I really have trouble caring about what that is.

It essentially boils down (ha ha) to a murder mystery about greed. Setting it in a cold snowy landscape means that we can hide identities, cause an imminent threat and then slow down the investigation (and therefore prolong the film’s running time). Take away the snow and set this in maybe a desert and the film would be lacking in set pieces. What you have is a basic thriller with so-so characters, and a guess-the-bad-guy-from-a-mile-off premise (yes, you, kindly old doctor who’s probably the only person close to our hero’s heart). It’s a shame that whatever made the graphic novel so interesting is missing here (character development I suspect). Instead we get the tiny little insignificant figure with an ego that is Kate Beckinsale.

Beckinsale continues her unrealistic claims to being a bad-ass action heroine (along with perhaps Milla Jovovich) in a role that is both absurd on paper and in practice. The film literally says it all when she has to resort to stripping down for a prolonged shower in order to keep us interested in what’s on screen (and this is early on).  (Sorry Kate, I saw you properly naked in the adaptation of James Herbert’s Haunted and you just ain’t all that, so go tease somewhere else please.) We’re led to believe that no matter how screwed in the head this enforcer is, and how addicted to her job, she still has time to get  a fabulous haircut and make her looks an important part of the character. And with a great face and hair, people won’t mind you showing it off in the blizzards, despite the obvious chill factor out there (yes, ok, you gave her frostbite in two fingers that had to be amputated, but so what?).

Gabriel Macht makes his second appearance in a comic book movie (he’s also The Spirit) as the shady but good looking white man who our hero can suspect one moment and take an interest in the next. Beyond that the rest of the characters here are either to be killed off or provide plot details.

There really isn’t much else to say about the film.  Expect high winds, heavy snow, high-tech laboratories indoors, and seedy looking broken down habitats for seedy characters. But it does make you want go off and watch The Thing almost immediately! Which is a much better chilly-set thriller 

!

Dominic (Gone in 60 Seconds/Swordfish) Sena sends Kate Beckinsale to Antarctica as a cop with (don’t all cry at once) a dark past, living an isolated existence at a station full of scientist types. A murder is committed and those on site make for the last flight out leaving a select few behind to figure out what’s going on – and to be honest I really have trouble caring about what that is.

It essentially boils down (ha ha) to a murder mystery about greed. Setting it in a cold snowy landscape means that we can hide identities, cause an imminent threat and then slow down the investigation (and therefore prolong the film’s running time). Take away the snow and set this in maybe a desert and the film would be lacking in set pieces. What you have is a basic thriller with so-so characters, and a guess-the-bad-guy-from-a-mile-off premise (yes, you, kindly old doctor who’s probably the only person close to our hero’s heart). It’s a shame that whatever made the graphic novel so interesting is missing here (character development I suspect). Instead we get the tiny little insignificant figure with an ego that is Kate Beckinsale.

Beckinsale continues her unrealistic claims to being a bad-ass action heroine (along with perhaps Milla Jovovich) in a role that is both absurd on paper and in practice. The film literally says it all when she has to resort to stripping down for a prolonged shower in order to keep us interested in what’s on screen (and this is early on).  (Sorry Kate, I saw you properly naked in the adaptation of James Herbert’s Haunted and you just ain’t all that, so go tease somewhere else please.) We’re led to believe that no matter how screwed in the head this enforcer is, and how addicted to her job, she still has time to get  a fabulous haircut and make her looks an important part of the character. And with a great face and hair, people won’t mind you showing it off in the blizzards, despite the obvious chill factor out there (yes, ok, you gave her frostbite in two fingers that had to be amputated, but so what?).

Gabriel Macht makes his second appearance in a comic book movie (he’s also The Spirit) as the shady but good looking white man who our hero can suspect one moment and take an interest in the next. Beyond that the rest of the characters here are either to be killed off or provide plot details.

There really isn’t much else to say about the film.  Expect high winds, heavy snow, high-tech laboratories indoors, and seedy looking broken down habitats for seedy characters. But it does make you want go off and watch The Thing almost immediately! Which is a much better chilly-set thriller.

Steven Hurst