Concert News

Mark Watson This Can’t Be It Tour beginning 10th September

The events of the past twelve-and-a-bit months, to give them a politely evasive name, have made us all think more regularly about the fragility of life than we probably would have liked to. Nothing focuses the mind than having a ‘daily death toll’ with your late afternoon glass of wine, or a tired-looking government scientist showing graphs and using phrases like ‘we anticipate many, many more fatalities’ in what used to be the ‘Escape To The Country’ slot. 

But luckily, neurotic Taskmaster-survivor and author Mark Watson has been stressing about the frightening prospect of death since before it became fashionable. His intended 2020 show – on the cusp of going to Melbourne and Edinburgh festivals, before a typically extensive nationwide tour – was inspired by taking a life expectancy test (there’s an app you can get, if you’re having an existential crisis at 3am) and discovering he could expect to reach 78: in other words, he’s just over halfway to, as it were, the finish line. 

What should we be doing with our time on earth, and how can we do it better? Watson has made a lot of strides towards happiness and fulfilment over the past few years. But there’s one problem left: and it really is a big one. The popular but all-too-mortal Radio 4 figure, star of ‘Live At The Apollo’ and House Of Games’ (which he won, but it’s not all about that) wrestles with some of the fundamental questions of life, with unusually high levels of benign audience involvement and the gag rate of an already fast-talking comedian who’s been imprisoned his house for more than a year.

This show has been some time in the making, thanks to all that unpleasantness with the virus. He’s rarely looked forward to anything in his life. All those 41 years of it to date.

Mark Watson had a pretty lively lockdown, as they go. With Tim Key and Alex Horne, he created the game ‘No More Jockeys’ which has now had more than 2 million YouTube views and found a rabid cult audience. He published his most critically acclaimed book to date, ‘Contacts’, and wrote another, non-fiction, title for release this year. He pioneered the Drive And Dine series of outdoor comedy gigs at the depth of the pandemic, and his company, Impatient, were one of the only ones to offer ‘tour shows’ run through Zoom calls, entertaining thousands of ticket-buyers deprived of other live comedy. He also completed a trilogy of 24-hour online shows, raising around £70,000 for charities. In March he curated the only overseas shows to be part of Melbourne International Comedy Festival, as part of their digital programme. For all this, he was one of the winners of Chortle’s Legends Of Lockdown awards, recognising comics who had gone above and beyond to entertain in these extreme times.

Before that, in the old days, the future national treasure had been a multi-award winner here and in Australia (a country we were once allowed to visit); a very familiar voice on Radio 4, where his series ‘Mark Watson Talks About A Bit Of Life’ has been one of the station’s most popular fixtures since 2007; and has most recently been working on a film project with Toni Collette and Studio Canal (while the rights to his graphic novel, ‘Dan And Sam’ remain in the hands of Universal). The live arena, though, is where he’s in his element the most, and this will be an emotional return to the rooms where he has, for almost two decades, established himself as one of the UK’s favourite stand-ups. Emotional, but also funny. See you there. 


SEPTEMBER           VENUE                                     BOX OFFICE          WEBSITE

Friday 10th            Trebah Amphitheatre,   Cornwall       01326 252200 

Friday 17th            Norden Farm, Maidenhead     01628 788997 

Saturday 18th        Square Chapel, Halifax         01422 349422  ON SALE SOON

Sunday 19th          Chorley Theatre, Chorley       01257 264 362

Monday 27th          Theatre Royal, Winchester     01962 840440


Friday 1st             The Elgiva, Chesham           01494 582 900

Sunday 3rd            Royal Spa Centre,  Leamington Spa             01926 334418 

Thursday 7th         Helmsley Arts Centre,  Helmsley         01439 771700 

Friday 8th             Plowright Theatre,   Scunthorpe           0844 844 0444 

Saturday 9th          The Maltings, Berwick-Upon-Tweed                   01289 330 999

Sunday 10th          The Stand, Newcastle          0191 232 0707

Friday 15th            The Y Theatre, Leicester       0116 255 7066

Saturday 16th         The Savoy Theatre, Monmouth             01600 772467

Sunday 17th          Komedia, Bath                   01225 489070 

Sunday 24th          Swindon Arts Centre, Swindon           01793 524481 


Tuesday 2nd          Tolbooth, Stirling                01786 274000 

Wednesday 3rd       The Stand, Edinburgh          0131 558 7272

Thursday 4th          The Stand, Glasgow            0141 212 3389

Friday 12th            The Brewhouse, Burton-Upon-Trent                01283 508100 

Saturday 13th        Festival Drayton Centre,                         Market Drayton        01630 654444

Thursday 18th & Friday 19th            Norwich Playhouse, Norwich   01603 630000 

Saturday 20th         Quarterhouse, Folkestone      01303 760 740 

Saturday 27th         Blackheath Halls, London      020 8463 0100 

Sunday 28th          Chequer Mead Theatre, East Grinstead        01342 302000 


Thursday 2nd         The Leadmill, Sheffield         0114 2727 040 

Friday 3rd             The Lowry, Salford              0343 208 6000 

Saturday 4th          The Dukes, Lancaster           01524 598500 


Friday 21st            Artsdepot, North Finchley, London    020 8369 5454      ON SALE 30th SEPTEMBER

Saturday 22nd        Bilston Town Hall, Bilston      01902 497222 

Sunday 23rd          Foxlowe Arts Centre, Leek     01538 386112 

Thursday 27th        Cheltenham Town Hall, Cheltenham        01242 850270 

Friday 28th            The Stables, Milton Keynes    01908 280800 

Sunday 30th          Theatr Clwyd, Mold             01352 344101  


Saturday 5th          Tobacco Factory, Bristol        0117 902 0060 

Wednesday 9th       Unity Theatre, Liverpool        0151 709 4988     ON SALE SOON

Thursday 10th        The Witham, Barnard Castle   01833 631107

Friday 11th            Otley Courthouse, Otley        01943 467466 

Saturday 12th         Pocklington Arts Centre, York       01759 301 547

Wednesday 16th     Electric Palace, Bridport        01308 424 901 

Thursday 17th        Shanklin Theatre, Isle of Wight      01983 868000 

Friday 18th            The Brewhouse Theatre & Arts Centre, Taunton     01823 283 244 

Saturday 19th         The Watermark, Ivybridge     01752 892220 

Friday 25th            The Hazlitt, Maidstone          01622 758611 

Saturday 26th         The Corn Hall, Diss              01379 652241


Thursday 3rd         The Astor Theatre, Deal        01304 370220 

Friday 4th             The Hawth, Crawley            01293 553636

Saturday 5th          The Lights, Andover             01264 368368 


Thursday 5th          Wyeside Arts Centre, Builth Wells           01982 552555        ON SALE SOON

Friday 13th            Loughborough Town Hall, Loughborough      01509 231914 

Saturday 14th         Lincoln Performing Arts Centre, Lincoln        01522 837600 

Sunday 15th          The Old Rep Theatre, Birmingham            0121 359 9444 

Thursday 19th        Tivoli Theatre, Wimborne      01202 885566 

Friday 20th            McMillan Theatre, Bridgwater  01278 556677 

Saturday 21st         Tiverton Community Arts Theatre      07443 502523

Sunday 22nd          Pavilions Teignmouth, Teignmouth          01626 249049 


Thursday 2nd         Brewery Arts Centre, Kendal   01539 725133 

Friday 3rd             The Atkinson, Southport       01704 533333 

Saturday 4th          Derby Theatre, Derby           01332 593939 

Saturday 5th               City Varieties Music Hall, Leeds       0113 243 0808 

Friday 10th            The Kenton Theatre, Henley-on-Thames            01491 525050                      

Saturday 11th         Colchester Arts Centre, Colchester         01206 500900 

Friday 24th            Kettering Arts Centre, Kettering          01536 513858 

Saturday 25th         The Pyramid Arts Centre, Warrington     01925 442345


Friday 15th            Gloucester Guildhall, Gloucester            01452 503050 

Saturday 16th         Pontardawe Arts Centre, Pontardawe       01792 863722              

Sunday 17th          Theatr Mwldan, Cardigan      01239 621200 

Tuesday 19th         Epsom Playhouse, Epsom      01372 742555 

Thursday 21st        The Place, Telford               01952 382 382 

Saturday 23rd        Tivoli Theatre, Aberdeen       01224 592755 

Sunday 24th          Theatre Royal Dumfries, Dumfries      01387 254209 

Saturday 30th         The Point, Eastleigh             023 8065 2333 

Sunday 31st          The Corn Exchange, Exeter    01392 665938 

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