Album Review

Calvin Harris – The Girls

• 30th May 2007

So the clamour to have the big summer dance hit has started in all its horror. Music is dumbed down to extremes and the first 5 seconds of the song is looped for 6 minutes until everyone has either definitely understood the hook or collapsed in a steaming heap of dehydrated boredom.

In this cleverly put together 4 bar loop, Calvin Harris talks about getting ‘All the Girls’. Apparently he gets small girls, he gets big girls, black girls. Oh, all kinds of girls. He really is very lucky. Well thanks for the information Calvin. It’s good to know you are getting all the girls. Even though I don’t know you it really is a weight off to discover that you are doing so well with the young ladies.

Maybe next summer Calvin is going to let us in on how he is getting all the cars. Blue cars and red cars, big cars and ickle cars. He’s got so much car to give!!!

Artists like this perhaps assume that people who listen to dance music are so trashed that it really doesn’t matter what comes out of the speaker as long as there is a beat. But surely Calvin et al should be taking lessons from ingenious artists such as Daft Punk and LCD Soundsystem. They also make dance music but dance music with brains, with something decent to say, with variety and with individuality.