Album Review

Bikini Girls On Ice –

• 14th Jun 2010

Well… How seriously can you criticise a film like this with a title like that. Yes it’s a group of girls in bikinis getting hacked up by a boiler suited gas station attendant. No there isn’t any story beyond that. Yes the girls are a bunch of thinly layered clichés. No the killer isn’t scary. Yes the dialogue will make your eyes roll… and so on.

By the way if you haven’t caught on. This is about a group of girls who decided to do a bikini car wash out in the middle of nowehere – where there happens to be a lunatic on the rampage – and he starts killing the girls and chucking them in the ice box.

What we can criticise is the fact that this very low budget horror is a fairly timid and bloodless affair. This is probably down to the film-makers having very little budget for live effects (a little reverse photography never hurt anyone guys!) and possibly also the notion that bad editing is what makes the scares.

So most deaths happen off camera, and none are particularly well thought out, or even remotely terrifying. If you have an eye for the ladies then obviously your nights’ entertainment is there for you. But a few giggles along the way wouldn’t have hurt.

The killer himself is in the same brand of the small town hick who grunts and stumbles about with a large metallic instrument with which to take care of his prey. So this is your average horror movie night in type of stuff. Again we refer you to the title – and remind any raging feminists out that to repeat “It’s only a movie.”