Patrol Men Review

• 11th Mar 2011

Patrol Men is a new British horror film that leans heavily on legendary productions such as Doomwatch and The Wicker Man. The island of Peyton is off mainland UK and has a rather curious way of treating its inhabitants. A curfew is in place for everyone just before nightfall and is enforced by a group of masked men dressed like they failed the audition to join Slipknot. They roam around the island in black boiler suits and gas masks carrying planks of wood ready to enforce the curfew.

The film opens with a wonderfully disturbing sequence as a naked girl is terrorized then stabbed to death by a masked man.  Following the titles we see new boy Jess Butler (Josh Golga) being given an island tour by local girl Alex Watts (Chloe Van Harding).  As the sirens sound they both run home before the curfew begins. Jess is less than impressed with his new surrounding having come from the mainland six weeks previously. He wants to challenge his surroundings and encourages Alex to do the same.

The islanders are kept in line by Jonathan Hansler as Mayor Yorke who is very keen to keep all as it is. The island has rejected the progress of the outside world and the narrative places us very much in the now with mention of the recession hitting the mainland. The killing that opened the film is explained as a local boy who went mad some years ago and killed a slew of girls. Nobody knows what happened to Marcus Day (Marcus Gray) but his legend is now used to keep the locals fearful. This inclusion brings to mind The Village as well as the current climate in America and Great Britain with the on-going terrorist threat.

Patrol Men is a low budget film that sadly doesn’t have the required storyline to make up for its production shortcomings. Tacking together several story threads from old horror films doesn’t guarantee clarity as is evident here. Lacking any real coherent story the makers could have opted for some decent violence to distract the viewer. The opening sequence which is actually well done points to some nice killings to follow but it never materializes. The film does have a nice selection of locations though, which for a production with little money behind it is a genuine achievement.

The acting is also a mixed bag at best with Chloe Van Harding and Anthony Abuah as Okie turning in nice performances. Jonathan Hansler is also decent enough as the Mayor but that’s where it ends. Special mention must be made of Andrew Harwood Mills, as the Detective Howie-esque, Lee Severn and Lucie Howard as Miss Chase are awful. The short lived romance between the two is redundant to the point of embarrassment with their deaths a relief.

The DVD is a basic disc but does have one extra which is a conversation between co-directors David Campion and Ben Simpson. They discuss their early films from when they were teenagers through to the making of Patrol Men. Both are likeable to say the least, as they discuss early projects which are all described as mostly rubbish.  Sadly the content of the early projects seems far more controversial and challenging than Patrol Men. After the talk I simply wondered why they decided to tone things down for this release. They do mention that Patrol Men did in fact evolve from a family movie into a horror film which may account for the actual lack of frights. They also admit that they did not re-draft the script enough which is sadly so very true. This extra may have in fact been better had there been a moderator to ask questions and keep things slightly more focused, but you cannot knock their honesty.

David Campion and Ben Simpson have achieved the most important goal in getting the movie made and released. Both were working at the time of making the film and basically had no budget to make the film at all. This must be kept in mind when watching the final product as it explains a great deal. Hopefully they will be allowed to return and make another feature as they seem to have more to offer if their discussion is anything to go by. Patrol Men is essentially forgettable in every which way as it fails to hit any of its marks. Hard to recommend to anyone except for those keen to see and assimilate everything new British horror has to offer.

Aled Jones