Comic Book Movies 101: Batman & Robin

• 24th Mar 2011

Further to my recent survey regarding the average response to mentioning the film Batman Forever (to recap, one of them was “well at least it’s not Batman and Robin”), I repeated the same investigation prior to penning this retrospective. Here are a few of the replies:  “…err, load of crap. Bullshit,” “cheesy crap,” and “I’ve probably seen that but I don’t remember it. Oh wait, Uma Thurman was hot.” Yes, Joel Schumacher’s second effort at the man behind the man behind the mask is remembered with just a little more disdain than his first. And for those who couldn’t stand the first instalment, Schumacher has given us this to allow his audience to hate the second with renewed venom. No pun intended.

A slightly more astute internet reviewer has summed it all up quite nicely, stating that “It has no heart, it’s an empty piece of work that fails to deliver on anything other than very soft core fetishism.” Well, true though that may be in part, Batman & Robin certainly offers us a great deal more than Uma Thurman gone burlesque: it has such humour and festiveness that if you stuck a bit of tinsel about the place you could use it to decorate your Christmas tree. The puns are bat-triffic, including but not limited to at least three per every scene featuring Mr Freeze (this film’s super villain) about him being a bit cold. My personal favourite he insists to Robin: “You’re not sending me to the cooler!”

The plot is simple enough. Mr Freeze (demented love-sick scientist) and Poison Ivy (demented green-fingered scientist) along with Ivy’s lovely assistant Bane, decide to freeze Gotham City, perhaps in revenge for burning all those fossil fuels and killing all the plants. It’s up to Batman (this time embodied in demi-god George Clooney) and Robin, now cemented as partners in crime-fighting, to save the day and prevent humans everywhere from ending up in an icy grave. Things get more complicated when Alfred’s incredibly attractive niece Barbara comes to stay; her over-inquisitive nature and rebel-without-a-cause tendencies soon see her insisting on turning company into a crowd and donning her own cape and cowl combo as Batgirl.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the coolest villain around as Mr Freeze. He fits the bill perfectly for this role –Schumacher reported as having said of the actor to play the villain that “he must be big and strong like he was chiselled out of an ice glacier.” It certainly is ice to see Arnie in this larger-than-life-and-twice-as-ugly-role… and the tough-guy act will certainly have added a new slant to his résumé.

As per Batman Forever, this is a double-trouble film and Mr Freeze’s partner in crime is the delicious Poison Ivy (Thurman). As far as many people are concerned, Ivy is the best thing about this film but she strikes me as being one of Batman’s more 2D foes, relying on the equivalent of cheap, mail-order pheromones to seduce her victims. She doesn’t even boast any especially memorable lines, save perhaps for “so many people to kill… so little time” and “come join me, my garden needs tending”, but even these are only memorable for their lameness and crass vulgarity. No, it’s no wonder the dynamic duo/trio don’t have many problems taking down this bunch of oversized minstrels and their crudely imagined CGI super-powers.

Batman & Robin really does belong to its namesakes. Their exchanges are brilliant; the two positively bounce puns off each other with a degree of mastery matched only by Ant and Dec. The highlight of their little marital spats must be their bid-war over Poison Ivy at a function for Gotham’s winers and diners, the whole thing culminating in one of the best Bat-jokes to grace the screen:

[

[Batman looks at Robin and then produces something from his belt]
Batman: [firmly] Seven million.
[It’s a credit card emblazoned with the Bat symbol. Expiration date: FOREVER]
Batman: Never leave the cave without it!

A Batman who I’m sure also wouldn’t leave the cave without his Shark Repellent Bat-Spray. You can never be too careful.

Something else which is wonderfully carried over from Batman Forever is the set-design and cinematography. Richard Holland’s (the art director) Gotham City is so heavily steeped in art deco (or so I’m led to believe by my quick Google search…) that it might just as well have leapt right out of the 20s. It’s dramatically lit, neon-sprayed and wholly decadent and for once a man prancing about in a bat costume doesn’t seem out of place, as he has been known to in a more realistic setting. There really is a concept behind this film, and every single facet of the film’s visual design pulls together to create a Gotham City which finally relates back to its original form as a comic book.

Even though Batman & Robin was nominated for an inordinate number of Razzies and the third/fifth instalment was cancelled by the studio, this short lived envisioning of the Caped Crusader will last a lifetime in the minds of Bat-fans. And no matter how much it’s slagged off, derided and otherwise bad-mouthed, I hope that Joel Schumacher and all those involved in the creation of this one hit blunder have a tapestry on their walls of a wise phrase spoke by a wise man: the only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about.

Dani Singer