The Chernobyl Diaries Review

19th Jun 2012

With a relatively respectable horror pedigree – coming as it does from the pen of Paranormal Activity’s Oren Peli – Chernobyl Diaries certainly piqued my interest from the first mention I heard. With its genre-correct 28 Days Later style one sheets, to the atmospheric trailers on Apple et al, I was definitely up for whatever Peli and director Bradley Parker had to offer.

I am sure most of you will know what it coming…unfortunately. A word one has to employ distressingly often when talking of modern horror. Unfortunately it’s not as good as the trailer. Unfortunately it’s not as good as Peli’s previous work. Unfortunately it’s not really very different to every other mutant/Hills Have Eyes concoction. All of these things are true and sadly are true of far too many of Chernobyl Diaries’ brothers.

The set up is utterly familiar. Chirpy, attractive travellers get talked into an immensely idiotic trip that we all know (with any luck) will end up in a very messy, blood-soaked and dismembered way. This little scene-setting is just as nauseating as one would expect, with plenty of heavy-handed stereotyping: the good, mature guy, the cheeky, impulsive guy etc. We are even given a little emotional walloping with a secret engagement proposal waiting in the wings. None of which we really give a shit about, mostly because none of the above show any particular charm or wit and are actually pretty annoying. Personally I was just waiting for the scares to start.

The cheerful little band finally, and illicitly, set down in Prypiat, the city that housed the Chernobyl power plant’s workers before the disaster, which we are told by the group’s Ukrainian ex-military guide Uri, is totally deserted. After a couple of ‘joke’ scares to take your mind off what is really lurking in the dead city, the main story kicks in when they become stranded in the rapidly darkening site. With a comparatively slow start, the scares do start coming, some of which are pretty effective. The unknown quality of the threat, as always, making for a much better, creepier atmosphere. As the cast are slowly picked off one by one and the nature of the attacks is revealed there is a corresponding dimming of effective dread.

I will give Peli this, the setting was a pretty good idea. The concrete wasteland is definitely scary and the umbrella threat of radiation does add an extra layer, despite the characters paying very little attention to the Geiger counter’s warning clicks. An unfortunate result of basing this around a nuclear disaster site is that the film is laying itself open to charges of dodgy science, which is never anything other than annoying and ridiculous.

For all the creepy, shadowy figures, piles of half-digested human carcasses, and, mostly excellently, (and I hope this isn’t a spoiler) a repulsive baby-like creature that scuttles along the floor, sharp teeth gnashing in screeching hunger, Chernobyl Diaries really has nothing to separate it from the pack. It’s not terrible, but it’s not very good either.