Lords Of Salem Review

• 16th Apr 2013

Lords of Salem is the odd new offering from Rob Zombie (House of a 1000 Corpses, The Devils Rejects). The very fact it’s a Rob Zombie film should give you an idea of what to expect: bizarre bonkers gore, hateful characters, Sheri Moon Zombie’s appalling acting ability, and this delivers on all fronts.

Late-night Salem radio DJ Heidi Hawthorne (Sheri Moon Zombie) and her co-hosts Daniel and Ken receive a mysterious old box one night after their show. Mistakenly, they believe that the record and the ominous note from “The Lords” that they find inside are nothing more than a promotional gimmick dreamt up by a imaginative record label. But when they play the record it plays backwards and unleashes a sinister, ancient force that affects Heidi deeply. Later, her landlord and visiting sisters offer Heidi a reading which unleashes further dark visions of Salem’s disturbing past. With The Lords heading to Salem to play a gig, Heidi’s frightening visions spill out of her nightmares and into reality and it seems that something is returning avenge Salem’s violent past, because The Lords aren’t a rock band, they’re something completely different altogether……

This film is a slight departure from Zombie’s usual form and it’s certainly more than a little confusing. As Heidi’s nightmares become jumbled with reality the film becomes more chaotic and confused, at times it feels more like a scuzzy rock video than a horror film. It’s not necessary to patronise the viewer and lead them by the hand, but there should be some sort of cohesive plot line. Zombie may have had a vision and he has achieved a certain level of unrelenting horror, but it seems like the heart of the film got lost along the way.  The problem is that a director such as David Lynch can offer up a baffling film that the audience may never fully understand, but they won’t be able to take their eyes off the screen. With Lords the confusion lead to boredom and one thing a good film should never do it bore the audience.  None of this is helped at all by Moon Zombie’s poor acting, she’s always featured in his films and it wouldn’t feel like a Zombie flick without her, but she shouldn’t be left to carry a film because she simply isn’t up to it.

On the one hand credit should be given to what could arguably be called one of the more original horror films of 2013, on the other hand it could be argued that there is nothing too original about attempting to ape great horror directors (Lynch and Polanski to name but two) and failing spectacularly. That being said Zombie fans are bound to like this, even if it isn’t in his usual vein of work. If you’re not a fan of Zombies work this film is unlikely to change your mind, it certainly didn’t change mine!

Lindsay Emerson