Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Review

22nd Feb 2013

“One thing this job has taught me…don’t eat the f***ing candy”

If you’re anything like me you probably saw the trailer for this and thought; oh no another crappy fantasy, action adventure in the vein of Red Riding Hood, The Brothers Grimm, Van Helsing etc…Great visuals and great costumes but often just a big steaming pile of horse crap. Its release date has been postponed repeatedly and rumour has it one of the main actors has said they did it to pay the bills. Not a good sign. But, my good folks, if you go in with an open mind you are in for a surprising treat.

Don’t get me wrong, this is no master piece but going in with low expectations and a desire for some mindless fun I was not disappointed. The premise of the film is that after Hansel & Gretel kill that pesky witch who was trying to eat them as children they grow up to become vigilante witch hunters, travelling the countryside and offering their good services to poor townsfolk in exchange for cash. Hansel is played by the delectable Jeremy Renner who gives his facial acting skills full reign (there’s a moment towards the end..all in slow mo… eyebrows down, face set, angry face…go). Sure one could argue that this proven actor is just playing his skills down and hamming up a role for cash but who bloody cares, it’s great fun and Jeremy Renner shirtless in 3D gets absolutely no complaints from me whatsoever. Gemma Arterton plays Gretel with a questionable American accent (feels a little too rehearsed). She isn’t as strong as Renner but even in fun trash like this we know she is not the best actress, you could say she is the weakest aspect of the film. One of my favourite actresses to watch, Famke Janssen, shows up as their nemesis, Muriel the witch. Not the best name for a witch, particularly if you’re a fan of Muriel’s Wedding. Now Janssen really hams up the acting and the raspy voice she uses touches on annoying at times but she does make such a good villain you can forgive her.

So the acting is over the top and elaborate but evidently the actors are having fun so what else did I enjoy about the film? Well the opening animated title sequence is actually a really fine piece of work and is almost wasted on this film. About halfway through I did do that double take when you realise the special effects have not bothered you once. I’m sure those in the industry could find fault but as an amateur watcher there was not a moment when I cringed at the effects, which I have found myself doing in much bigger budget films.

Now whilst there are many things I enjoyed about this film you do have to just sit back and embrace the crap. The awful social messages (I’m sorry – Hansel is a diabetic? Because the witch made him eat so much candy as a kid? Are you kidding?), shoddy dialogue and quite blatant plot developments. However somehow this all worked for me as the film manages to tread that fine line between not taking itself too seriously and becoming a mockery of itself. And it doesn’t get sucked into that need to drag on and on. At a snappy 88 minutes the pace is kept speeding along so quickly you don’t care if it’s badly written at times.

Considering the thing that bothered me the most about this film was a very bad ginger wig do I recommend a trip to the cinema to see this? I am surprising myself by saying yes. Don’t go with high expectations, accept this film for what it is and you will love it.