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The 6th Day Of Glasswerk: Hey Sholay

• 6th Dec 2012

Crivens sir, tis the 6th day of Glasswerk and what has my true love given me? Why tis Sheffield based steel-mongers and purveyors of psychedelic indie pop Hey Sholay. Let’s see if they’re the geese that lay the golden eggs next year…

If you could spend Christmas anywhere in the world, where would it be?

We don’t really understand why people decide to go somewhere warm for Christmas… maybe too much time envying the dramas of certain soap operas. But we’ve been denied a white Christmas for all of our lives – so probably a lovely asbestos dumping ground, sugar factory, self-raising flour storage facility or a recluse somewhere, a place where severe dandruff sufferers go for support and respite.

What’s your favourite Christmas song?

‘Christmas card from a Hooker in Minneapolis’ – Tom Waits.

Give us three things on your list this year.

A battery for the van
A gingerbread house which is council tax void and self-replenishing. Maybe waterproof.
Food on tour.

Have you been naughty or nice, and what did you do to deserve the title?

We have been pretty nice this year – worked very hard. I think we deserve this title because we haven’t committed fraud, or any major crimes. And sneaking into hotels is a financial necessity, and the responsibility of the staff to monitor.

Any favourite Christmas movies?

Santa Claus the movie. It has Dudley Moore and Christmas 2 in it. Plus puce lollipops that make you fly. We all want those.

What’s the worst Christmas you’ve ever had?

One of us attended a wedding in New York one Christmas, and almost died in a boiling shower-related freak 20th floor trapped scald-athon. After a lucky escape, he was hospitalized before the wedding, with an arm looking like Freddy Kreuger. And this is actually true.

Have you got anything out that people should put on their lists this year? (PLUG YOUR GOODS HERE)

Well, we have our new deluxe album package for £12 on our website, a couple of X-ray vinyl packages left at £35, and of course our Christmas show tickets for the 21st December at Sheffield Library Theatre…

Who are you backing for Christmas Number 1?

No doubt, a ‘rebellious’ and reputably ‘political’ rock band who steal victory from the ‘bad X-Factor people’, although in true false consciousness fashion share the same record label.

Which day is better and why: Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or Boxing Day?

Boxing day – purely because of bubble and squeak and sandwiches made from multiple species. And the competition regarding who got the worst present. Last year, one of us received an AA first aid kit. If you were to crash your car, you can put an Elastoplast and band aid in that missing face, or steering column through your chest…

The Queens Speech – yay or nay?

Yay – Christmas always sees a myriad of conversations that go in the way of ‘The Monarchy is archaic, pointless, not English, etc etc etc’. Getting rid of the Queen/speech would be like getting rid of the Statue of Liberty – whether they meet their original purpose or not, they’re pretty essential to the outside identity of us. And this is good. And I admire that she reads a lovely autocue whilst the rest of the country sleep and eats post-dinner mints.

If you could stock some awesome Christmas related merch, what would it be?

Sugarcane trombones. That would be fantastic.

Top 3 Christmas dinner components.

Animals with fruit sauce
Alcoholic custard
Untouched carrots.

Merry Christmas gents, shine on you crazy diamonds.