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The Fifth Day Of Glasswerk: Acres Of Lions

• 5th Dec 2012

Taking the highly coveted and always raucous FIVE GOLD RINGS spot in our Christmas feature, hotly tipped Glasswerk favourites Acres Of Lions front man Jeff Kalesnikoff has a crack at letting us in on their festive traditions…

If you could spend Christmas anywhere in the world, where would it be?

If we could spend Christmas anywhere together as a band, it would be in North Pole, Alaska. Think about it. Santa is the Mayor. Every year, everyone in the world sends their x-mas lists there. It’s a winter wonderland for a longer period of time than anywhere else. The facts add up. You don’t get any closer to the Christmas spirit than that, and I think we would be at a particular advantage being from British Columbia, Canada. A tour to the North Pole is not that far-fetched.

What’s your favourite Christmas song?

Our favourite Christmas song, although not particularly traditional, is the 1984 single “Last Christmas” by WHAM!. It’s no Silent Night, but George Michael really knew how to capture the Christmas spirit, especially whilst on a romantic ski-trip getaway in the 80’s, which to be honest, is where we all dream of being for the holidays. That one, or “Fairytale Of New York” by The Pogues is pretty classic.

Give us three things on your list this year.

Three things on our Christmas list this year: 1) A personal meet and greet with David Tennant or Matt Smith. Either “Doctor Who” will do.
2) An instant makeover for our bassist Dan Ball. Nothing too fancy. Shower, shave and a haircut sort of thing. Maybe throw in a bowl of soup. 3) A full on, balls to the wall, international tour with one of our favourite British bands, “Tellison.” How great would that be? I’d pay twice to go see it.

Have you been naughty or nice, and what did you do to deserve the title?

If I have to speak on behalf of the band, I will say that we have definitely been more naughty than nice this year. It’s not what you think, though! We really do try to be decent human beings and have good clean fun, but being on the road for almost 8 months straight this year, it becomes slightly more difficult to maintain that edge you’ve always wanted to let loose but couldn’t when you were at home.
Let’s just say that we’ve said and done inappropriate things at inopportune moments, in private and in public, and we’re sorry. Also, we tend to forget a lot of important dates, like birthdays and bill payments, things of that sort. Again, to all of our friends and family. We’re sorry, and we’ll make it up to you one day!

Any favourite Christmas movies?

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York and Die Hard. Always have been, always will be. Jingle All The Way also has its moments. Schwarzenegger was always a charmer (i.e.. Mr. Freeze)

What’s the worst Christmas you’ve ever had?

The worst Christmas I’ve ever had would have to be Christmas 2009. I remember it fondly. Dan Ball and I were living together in a soon-to-be-condemned lean-to of a shack that we called “The Chamber” for obvious reasons. Flooded basement. Bed-bugs. No heat. Crumbling ceiling. Random cats scurrying about. We hadn’t enough money to go home for Christmas, so we bought a tree from a lot and didn’t even bother decorating it. It was a sad state of affairs, but we had a working fireplace, lots of rum and a pile of Christmas dvd’s that we watched into the night. I guess it wasn’t so bad. We had each other.

And the best?

Christmas 2008. I was visiting my parents back home in Castlegar, British Columbia (Canada); the town I grew up in. I had taken an extended holiday from work, back when I had a regular nine-to-five shift. I remember I spent two weeks in the snow, visiting old haunts from my childhood, card games with my Mom and Grandparents, working on old cars with my Dad, reconnecting. It was all very refreshing, to be home with my family and it didn’t stop snowing once. It was incredible. I remember the day I got back to Victoria I thought I had Tonsillitis and I put in my two weeks notice at my kitchen job. It turned out to be Mono, so I ended up taking those two weeks off because I was a health risk. I came back for one last shift when I was well enough to work, just to say goodbye. Oh, the audacity I had! I don’t think anyone missed me after I pulled that one.

Have you got anything out that people should put on their lists this year?

We definitely recommend our latest full-length album “Collections” that’s coming out in the UK November 26. Owning “Collections” this holiday season will definitely relieve stress and prepare you for what’s to come in the near future… a great gift for all-ages!

Who are you backing for Christmas Number 1?

We are always backing Michael Buble for Christmas Number 1. After he released “Christmas” in 2011, those classic Christmas songs like “Santa Baby” and “White Christmas,” his duet with Shania Twain, will never be the same. I would like to see him one up himself this year, especially if he plans to do “A Michael Buble Christmas Special” round two.

Which day is better and why: Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or Boxing Day?

Boxing Day has got to be the better day. Think about it. You’re most likely hungover and least likely to be working, and besides, the only things that ARE open are department stores with awesome sales on everything you didn’t need until this very moment and your favourite greasy spoon restaurants that always do take out, events, both of which, you can attend half-conscious and in sweat pants. Am I right?

The Queens Speech – yay or nay?

I’ll be completely honest here, and please forgive me, as ignorant as I may seem. I was not aware that The Queen delivered a speech of good will to the British Nation around Christmas until about 5 minutes ago, which is shameful and sad on my part, but I will give a very fond “YAY” for it. This seems like something that would inspire and instil a great amount of hope and joy in the people of Britain and I can definitely get behind that. Yay, for sure.

If you could stock some awesome Christmas related merch, what would it be?

Actually, we’ve been brain-storming a list of potential Acres Of Lions “stocking stuffer” gift packages to maybe give away around Christmas time to those who want them. We’re not sure how far we will go with this idea, but we’re thinking they will include an Acres Of Lions T in a size of your choosing to wear, a free download of our album release “Collections” to listen to and a sample-size baggie of Dan Ball’s beard clippings to do whatever you want with. What do you think? Tweet at us! @acresoflions or visit link

Top 3 Christmas dinner components.

Ahh, the components of rest and relaxation for a bright Christmas day:
1) Home-made egg nog. I know a lot of people who think this stuff is gross, and the store-bought stuff kind of is, but if you have a recipe in mind, go for it. Totally worth the party it inspires, and if you make it right, you’ll never not want to make it again. 2) Plenty of baked goods. Cookies, biscuits, pastries, tarts, etc. All the stuff Mom used to make for you to snack on. You’re supposed to gain weight this time of year. It’s gonna be okay. 3) Wrap it in bacon! Any animal you plan to cook whole, or at least a large hollowed out section of, and feast upon with friends and family, bacon will make it taste better. We are a vegan-friendly band, but we are carnivores at heart.

Merry Christmas boys – hoping you have a phenomenal 2013.