Things To Do On A Train

• 15th Oct 2008

I spend a lot of time travelling on trains and I have a set routine which I go through in order to make the time pass, if not more productively, then at least pass without boredom. Here are the things I do on a train –

Settle in my seat and scope out what kind of talent is sitting around me. Preferably there will be some totty across the table to me, but I can also work with unnatural angles and glimpse of body/ head/leg. It’s all fine, as long as there is something to work with and not a deranged tramp or screaming child in the midst. Next step is to catch selected talents eye then spend the rest of the journey surreptitiously checking each other out, while I imagine various fantasies and encounters.

I ALWAYS have a paper with me. Not to read, as news is quite boring, but to do crosswords, word puzzles, Sudoku etc. How many papers I buy depends on the journey but for a quick hop across to Manchester I can now finish 4 crosswords, Sudoku and word puzzle. It leaves nothing for the return journey, but you can always buy another paper.

Once the crosswords are done and the fantasies with the stranger are exhausted its time for general day dreaming. Currently facebook statuses occupy my mind a lot. I think them up and list them in my notebook for future usage. They are all very witty; you will have probably pissed yourself at some point to one of them, yes.

Another favourite day dream is to rehearse and rehash conversations in my head. These can be with staff, venue managers, agents and potential/made up future/past affairs/dates/girlfriends. I generally get what I want you see, and this is because I analyse and rehearse everything I say. Am not particularly good at reading people off the cuff, but because I have already worked out what I am going to say, based on past evidence, I can generally convince you that I am right.

Anyway, other than that there are also a lot of business thoughts floating round. Numbers, figures, money, cash flow. Not interesting to you, but of definite interest to our finance director.

Anyway, what do you do on the train? And don’t be boring and say read or watch a film. More interesting is sitting there doing nothing, with absolutely no thoughts running through your head. That would be an interesting alternative.