Opera: 'Dreary Horse Piss for Rich Bastards'?

• 5th Jul 2004

It’s not very often we get too cultured here at glasswerk, but we’re happy to tell you about a happening in the world of opera. Hold on, don’t be afraid – this is a thoroughly modern affair and would probably sit comfortably next to the Aphex Twin rather than Wagner of Mozart. Local musical maniac Stephen Crowe told us all about it:

I hear rumours that Robin Hood’s diced cock is sprinkled on stage pre-performance to ward off superstition. Care to comment?

There are many secret activities to occur on stage. I couldn’t possibly comment!M

Is electronic noise music really right for opera?

The only thing that’s right for opera is gripping narrative, the means are less important than the aims. That said, I know that the sound-world of this particular music is far more exciting and far less hackneyed than an orchestra.

Are you obsessed with excessive violence?

No! This piece calls for a certain amount of it, but not too much.

Are you expecting your audience to boo and throw sweet-corn?

I would dearly love them to! It’s “adore or abhor” with this type of music. Atonal singing… electronic noise music……

How exciting is this opera? Why should we come and see it?

It is a perfect tonic, a holiday cocktail, a broom stick trick. If I could pop a glazed cherry on the rim of it I think I would have made my point.

Isn’t opera just dreary horse piss for rich bastards?

Och aye.

Is Pavarotti able to walk without a cane?

Mibs.

How talented are your singers?

Fibs.

What can someone who’s never seen opera before expect?

Bibs.

It’s very short isn’t it? 20 minutes or so. Why?

By the time I have said all that I have to say on the subject: musically and dramatically, I wouldn’t want to insult the audience with unnecessary repetition.

Why should I see this when I could see a multi million dollar blockbuster at the movies for the same price?

Because you are interesting and loveable.

Mr Crowe’s opera is entitled ‘Domestic’ and you can see it on July 16th and 17th at the Notts Art Theatre on George Street. Ticketline is 0115 9476096