Album Review

Slimy – Paint Your Face

• 27th Sep 2009

There is a man hiding somewhere in blogworld named Perez Hilton. He considers himself the Queen of Media and has been responsible for the steady rise to colourful fame for a young Frenchman assuming the alias Sliimy. Well, Perez Hilton, thank you for this miracle, you may have just found the most annoying man on the planet, apart from yourself.

Sure, “Paint Your Face” Sliimy’s debut album is pop and sure it’s quirky but that cannot disguise the evil sentiments that it hides. It is essentially a carousel of coy behaviour, a long, tedious carousel of cutesy, bizarre and clichéd ideas intent on becoming the backing track to an advert selling trainers or yoghurts or yoghurt flavoured trainers. What makes this carousel worse is that it doesn’t even bob up and down; there is no high point or low point, no excitement or depression, just one long ride of block-coloured mediocrity.

And you just know that as Sliimy offers up crazes like “Gossip Girl” “MySpace” and “Facebook” within his lyrics that Mr Hilton is sitting behind a computer somewhere sniggering and celebrating his media-friendly invention, typing furiously away with the insolence of a three year old that his latest signing will make “a lot of people smile.” I don’t deny that for a second, he will, he has the looks of a geekier Mika and the voice of a French Shakira, that’s enough to please most people, just not me.