The Cheerleaders Review

• 20th Oct 2011

More cult treats from Arrowdrome as they release the no budget sex comedy The Cheerleaders and throw in Revenge of the Cheerleaders in case you need some more trash cinema. Basically what you have here is the female Porky’s as a group of hot Cheerleaders flex their sexy muscles to whip their failing high school football team into shape.

The overall narrative simply involves the girls going from one sex-fest into another with the added bonus of seemingly sleeping far more with nerds than jocks. Very little else happens if I’m honest so if you’re interested in anything other than poorly directed soft core porn then maybe you should pass on this film.  The big game at the end unveils the different layers of sexual corruption and favors that has driven the high school team to the top of the rankings.

The performances are all amazingly bad with the remarkably named Stephanie Fondue taking the lead in providing z-grade acting. The adult performers resemble something from the cutting room floor of a Benny Hill episode at best. Essentially everything about The Cheerleaders is bad with a capital B but that is the joy of this film. Personally I would like to think that nobody would be buying this DVD looking for any type of quality whatsoever.

Just as you thought it was safe to move on from The Cheerleaders the generous folks over at Arrowdrome have thrown The Revenge of the Cheerleaders in on top as an extra. This time around things haven’t changed a great deal in that it’s all soft core sex with a slightly beefed up storyline that seems to have been taken from a discarded St Trinian’s film.

The girls are now cheering on their basketball team lead by the one and most definitely only David ‘The Hoff’ Hassellhoff and his amazing hair. Sadly their school is slated for a merger with another institution but the girls are having none of it. The powers that be are obviously sleazy dudes who are out to make some easy bucks to support their secret hideaway underneath a golf course next to the storm drains. Please believe me when I say that nothing you’ve ever seen can prepare you for this level of awfulness so simply dive right in.

One slight addition this time around is the inclusion of a slight musical based undertone as the kids break out into dance on numerous occasions. The Hoff busts out his break-dance legs at one point and shows the kind of talent that somehow guaranteed the man a career. The musical numbers are strangely interesting as it’s totally out of kilter with everything else going on. Once gain you’re left with the feeling that they were simply making it all up as they went along.

Arrowdrome may never ever release a worse double bill that this and given the extreme cult nature of the label that’s quite a statement. Astoundingly bad in every single facet The Cheerleaders and Revenge of the Cheerleaders really have to be seen to be believed. If you’re looking for a late night entertainment for a crowd of cult lovers then you can’t go wrong with this as people can even shout at each other and you won’t be missing anything much, cult heaven.

Aled Jones